Momentary Hesitation

This morning, after talking to a good friend about life, the future, and the day to day perks and detriments of life in Vernal, I was momentarily convinced that I was possibly making a giant mistake in uprooting my life and moving halfway across the country.

Then, I remembered why I had made this decision. It wasn't to run away. It wasn't because someone told me to. No, I made this decision because of the adventure, the intrigue and the possibilities that New Orleans has waiting for me. You see, that city and I have a lot in common. We are both trying to rebuild and renew ourselves. We both have a vibrant personality and lots to offer to the world and don't necessarily get the recognition we deserve. We are misunderstood by many and the few that understand and appreciate us for who we are love us for that. We have our flaws, sure, but that is just the reality of the world.

After a long day of soul searching and second guessing, I've renewed my determination to make this move and make it work. If I can do that, then all the little things will work themselves out. Or I'll just force them to. :)

Wow.

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to accumulate massive amounts of junk and not even realize it? As I was going through old boxes that I've moved around with me the past few years, I was shocked at what I had kept around. It turns out that I save EVERY single magazine I've ever purchased. Why do I need a tabloid I bought in 2006? Design magazines from 4 or 5 years ago? Seriously?

Apparently, I do the same thing with clothes. I found shirts and jackets that I bought while living in Salt Lake in 2005. They are in decent condition but don't fit me. Not to mention that they're out of style. The part that gets me, though, is that I don't even remember buying them! They must be really important...

The other little things I found were equally as mind-boggling as to why I would keep them. Screws, old chapstick, gum wrappers...very important stuff, obviously.

Anyway, I'm only about halfway through my collection at this point, but I'm already excited and anxious to find what other treasures await me. :)

"one of the most sinful places on Earth!"

Well, to start off with, I'm writing this to tell ya'll about my big life-changing move from a small Mormon town in Utah to the Big Easy-- New Orleans, LA. Really, this wouldn't be all that interesting for most people, but at 25 I've lived my life never going further than San Diego to the west and Denver to the east. I've never set foot on an airplane and never lived outside of the Mormon Central.

I'm not a Mormon though. Well, according to them I am, but that's because they don't know me. I was raised in the Mormon faith, but as soon as it was my decision that ended pretty quick. See, if they really knew me, they wouldn't want me. I'm gay. I think we all know what that means for my relationship with that church. LOL

Breaking the news of my plans to my extended family(who's Mormon-ness can be seen from space) wasn't as pleasant and festive as I'd imagined. There weren't the supportive smiles and eager questions I hoped for. No, there were just gaping jaws, stern faces, and hysterical laughter. Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence there.

I should have expected this. These people haven't ever made a decision this huge in their entire lives. They have their lives set out for them by the church and their parents. Why should I expect them to understand? I guess I really didn't. My favorite reaction was from my grandma, bless her worrying old heart and steel hips, who quietly told me, as if it were a secret that no one should hear, "Nick, that is one of the most sinful places on earth!" Um, DUH! Then of course, by her standards, anyone not strictly adhering to the "gospel" is a sad lost soul. If only she knew just how well her sweet grandson will fit into his new surroundings....

The second round of getting the news out was much more pleasant. The only sadness was the same I was getting from my close friends. THEY ARE ACTUALLY SAD IM LEAVING!!! It has nothing to do with WHERE, just THAT it's happening! Hooray!! Finally, some form of support!

Now, to be fair to all of the amazing people that have made me feel like I'm even capable of surviving this, I have to acknowledge that I have the absolute best friends in the world. I haven't heard a single word of discouragement aimed to make me feel like I can't do this. So, THANK YOU!!!!